There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
