my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
