Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Randomize
