Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
