it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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