Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
