I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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