So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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