i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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