Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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