just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
