dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
