..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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