this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
