God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
