Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
