you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
