this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
