Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
