Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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