My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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