you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
