I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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