i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
