I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
