It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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