Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
