You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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