she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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