If that was your dad, he is hot
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
