Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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