don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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