i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
