I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he thought i was a dude.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
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