i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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