Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
