It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
