ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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