My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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