She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
