if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
