well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
