I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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