You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
