R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
