I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
