I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
