We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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