i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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