i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
