so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
