I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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