Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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