Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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