So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
